drunktuesdays: ([TW] co-captain of the internet team der)
[personal profile] drunktuesdays
DID YOU GUYS SEE WHAT [livejournal.com profile] philosiraptors DREW ME?

DID YOU?

GO LOOK, I'LL WAIT.

I had to go take a victory lap when I saw it because it's ALL MY DREAMS. I have been wanting Derek+babies since FOREVER and B-Rex is a beautiful boat of dreams.

UNFORT IT'S RAMPED UP MY BABY FIXATION LIKE CRAZY. Y'all know all those fics where Stiles finds a baby and takes care of it and everyone's mega aroused? I LOVE THOSE FICS.

But now I desperately need fic where they find a baby and Derek takes it home and everyone's like PROBS THAT BABY IS GOING TO EAT A LIVE WIRE!! But Derek is actually a great caretaker because babies' needs are simple as hell and Derek don't have a job or outside interests so it's not like he can't be up all night with a baby.

I'm obsessed with there being fic written exactly to the drawing where Derek takes the baby to the park in his sling (BECAUSE STROLLERS ARE BULLSHIT. WHO PUTS A BABY IN THE VULNERABLE POSITION OUT IN FRONT? DEREK WILL BE STRAPPING HIS BABY TO HIS CHEST WHERE HE CAN BE EASILY PROTECTING IT YO) and gazes pensively out over the water and is like, "life is pain, sweetheart, and anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something," and the baby is like, relentlessly cheerful and is like COO. I LOVE DUCKS. I LOVE MY HANDS. I LOVE BEING OUTSIDE and Derek is helplessly charmed. HE TRIES SO HARD TO EXPLAIN PAIN AND MISERY AND LOWER HIS CHILD'S EXPECTATIONS BUT THEY SHAN'T BE LOWERED.

UGH I WANT SO MUCH DAD DEREK FIC NOW. THANKS B-REX, YOU JERK.

Date: 2012-11-06 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] riadsala.livejournal.com
What if Derek and the baby spend hours just staring intensely at each other and everyone else is kind of weirded out, but Derek is committed to bonding seriously. What if he's constantly wandering around with no shirt on while burping the baby, just a cloth thrown over his shoulder? WHAT IF I CAN'T HANDLE ANYTHING THAT'S HAPPENING IN THIS POST?

Date: 2012-11-06 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
WHAT IF I LIE DOWN IN TRAFFIC BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE THAT!!! Derek definitely doesn't bother wearing a shirt because the baby is just going to spit up on it. Caroline, I'm in physical pain. Tight jeans slung low, no shirt, baby on his hip. KILL ME WITH TEN KNIVES.

Date: 2012-11-06 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] riadsala.livejournal.com
Ugggghhh, the baby sleeping nestled against his bicep, throw me through a window. Its chubby little fingers curling around Derek's thumb. I can't think about this, I have to go climb into our freezer.

Date: 2012-11-09 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] makesomelove.livejournal.com
AS A CERTIFIED DOULA I LEARNED THAT DEREK HOLDING A BABY WITHOUT A SHIRT ON ALL THE TIME FOR MAX SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT AKA KANGAROO CARE IS VERY GOOD FOR THE BABY BECAUSE OF BONDING AND ATTACHMENT AND MILK PRODUCTION AND STABLE BODY TEMPERATURE REASONS. "I CAN FEEL UR HEARTBEAT AGAINST MY SKIN AND SO I LOVE YOU" WILL BE THE BABY'S FIRST WORDS.

Date: 2012-11-06 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stealstheashes.livejournal.com
<3__<3

So all of the usual suspects would drop by TOTALLY CASUALLY with really obvious bogus excuses just to make sure the live wire thing hasn't happened and Derek would be like, THE BABY IS SLEEPING. WHAT DO YOU WANT. and finally refuse to let anyone come by because they all keep trying to give baby advice y/n?

Normally this is where I'd say you should write it since you made her draw it, but-- okay, so this should go on the list for things for you to write. When you're done writing other things.

Date: 2012-11-06 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
I DON'T WANT TO WRITE IT I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY DAY. Living for everyone being super condescending. DEREK, YOU REALIZE THAT BABIES EAT RIGHT? AND YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE THEM ON THE FOREST FLOOR RIGHT?

Image

Date: 2012-11-06 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stealstheashes.livejournal.com
there is something wrong with me because i just thought DEREK WOULD BE SO HEARTBROKEN IF SOMEONE CAME TO CLAIM THE BABY. my brain is so fired. (but he would and he'd totally pretend not to be at all and everyone would be fooled except he'd hold on to something ~sentimental that he really has no need for without the baby and ;___;)

OKAY BACK TO EVERYONE BEING CONDESCENDING. Everyone being condescending and also lots and lots of people who would totally cross the street if they saw Derek coming pre-baby, actually coming over and talking to him. Or at his chest-- because the combination of the baby and hot, if scowling, dude. And Derek being all :| :| :| at first but then starting to actually respond. And then the pack catching Derek at the park sitting in the middle of a group of moms.

Date: 2012-11-06 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
i refuse to acknowledge the first paragraph. REFUSE.

KILL ME BECAUSE DEREK WOULD HAVE TO HANG OUT WITH MOMS AT THE PARK. HE'D LOOK LIKE A TOTAL PSYCHO UNTIL HE UNRAPPED THE BABY FROM HIS CHEST AND PUT HIM ON A SWING, BYEEEEEEEEEEEE. Ugh, I'm dying eight times. I WANT THIS. CLEARLY TEEN WOLF WILL HAVE TO HAVE A BABY EPISODE SOON, RIGHT???

Date: 2012-11-06 03:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stealstheashes.livejournal.com
i wish i hadn't thought about it. because ;___;

the moms would totally be wary of him until SOMETHING-- IDK WHAT SOMETHING IS BUT INO IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN-- and then he'd be one of them and they'd get a little TOO comfortable around him. Which would of course be when the pack showed up.

Sixteen Wolf and Pregnant. It'll be a combo of both shows.

Date: 2012-11-06 09:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] happy-coconut.livejournal.com
NO, THE BABY BELONGED TO A COUSIN OR SOMETHING THAT DIED, SO HE'LL BE A WEREWOLF AND DEREK CAN HAVE THE PACK HE ALWAYS DREAMED OFFFFFFF

Date: 2012-11-06 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heartequals.livejournal.com
THIS POST SHOULD COME WITH A WARNING.

WANTING DEREK + BABY FIC IS CONTAGIOUS

Date: 2012-11-06 02:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
INORITE?????? WHY IS IT SO IDEAL??? HE'S SUCH A FAILURE OF A HUMAN BUT HE JUST WANTS TO BE AROUND PEOPLE AND HAVE PEOPLE NEED HIM SO CLEARLY HE NEEDS SOOOO MANY KIDS.

Date: 2012-11-06 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] philosiraptors.livejournal.com
I AM SO GOOD IN THE MAKING OF ART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



FUCKING DEREK AND HIS FUCKING MESSED UP HAIR FROM FAT BABY HANDS IN IT ALL THE TIME, I AM NOT LONG FOR THIS WORLD

Date: 2012-11-06 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
I'VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT THIS SINCE SAT NIGHT. JUST NONSTOP. COOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

FUCKING DEREK WOULD JUST PATIENTLY LET THE BABY DO IT TO AND BE LIKE "IT'S FINE. IT DOESN'T HURT. MY SCALP HEALS. IT MAKES HIM LAUGH."

Date: 2012-11-06 04:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shiningartifact.livejournal.com
Favorite. Tumblr. Post. EVERRRRR.

BABY BABY BABY DEREK AND A BABY. I CAN'T. AT ALLLLLLLL.

I WANT THAT SO BAD THAT I WANT TO DIE FROM IT TBH.

Also B-rex totally IS a beautiful boat of dreams.

I'm obsessed with there being fic written exactly to the drawing where Derek takes the baby to the park in his sling (BECAUSE STROLLERS ARE BULLSHIT. WHO PUTS A BABY IN THE VULNERABLE POSITION OUT IN FRONT? DEREK WILL BE STRAPPING HIS BABY TO HIS CHEST WHERE HE CAN BE EASILY PROTECTING IT YO) and gazes pensively out over the water and is like, "life is pain, sweetheart, and anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something," and the baby is like, relentlessly cheerful and is like COO. I LOVE DUCKS. I LOVE MY HANDS. I LOVE BEING OUTSIDE and Derek is helplessly charmed. HE TRIES SO HARD TO EXPLAIN PAIN AND MISERY AND LOWER HIS CHILD'S EXPECTATIONS BUT THEY SHAN'T BE LOWERED.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE IMAGE IN THE WOOOOORLD. DEREK AND HIS RELENTLESSLY HAPPY BABY. HE'S LIKE SERIOUSLY DO YOU NEVER CRY??? CRYING I CAN RELATE TO. BUT NO THE BABY THINKS HIS RED EYES ARE PRETTY LIGHTS AND WHEN HE DOES ANGRY PULLUPS IN HIS BURNED-OUT HOUSE-SHELL THE BABY POINTS AND LAUGHS AND IS FILLED WITH UTTER DELIGHT.

CAPSLOCK.

Date: 2012-11-07 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
CLAIRE I AM DYING EIGHT TIMES BECAUSE OF THIS COMMENT. DEREK REDS OUT AND THE BABY IS LIKE "OOOOOOH PRETTY" AND DEREK STARTS LAUGHING IN SPITE OF HIMSELF AND FORGETS WHAT HE WAS MAD ABOUT TO BEGIN WITH BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Date: 2012-11-07 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shiningartifact.livejournal.com
LEA WE HAVE NEVER EVER SEEN DEREK LAUGH FOR REAL. EVER. THE IDEA OF HIM LAUGHING HELPLESSLY BECAUSE HIS BABY THINKS HIS RED EYES ARE PRETTY FUCKING KILLS ME.

I THINK I WOULD PAY ACTUAL MONEY TO SEE DEREK HALE LAUGH.

DEREK AND A BABY. DEREK WITH THE HAPPIEST BABY ON EARTH AND DEREK UTTERLY UNABLE TO KEEP UP HIS USUAL >>:[ EXTERIOR BECAUSE: BABY. IT IS THE GREATEST IMAGE EVER. GIVE IT TO MEEEEEE.




COO.

Date: 2012-11-07 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
I'M IN SO MUCH AGONY OVER THIS, BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE COULD DO IT AROUND A BABY. THEY'RE SO UNCOMPLICATED AND EASY GOING AND DEREK CAN ACTUALLY DEAL WITH THEIR NEEDS AND HE HAS SO MUCH LOVE AND AFFECTION TRAPPED IN HIS SOUL THAT HAS NOWHERE TO GO BUT NOW, SITTING ON HIS FLOOR WHILE HIS BABY TRIES TO GRAB HIS EYEBALLS OUT OF HIS EYES, HE CAN DO IT, HE CAN JUST LAUGH FONDLY BECAUSE LIFE. IS. GETTING. BETTER.


COOOOOOOOO

Date: 2012-11-07 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shiningartifact.livejournal.com
DEREK. ;___________________;

THE BABY WOULD TOTALLY SAVE HIM FROM HIMSELF. PLUS HE WOULD JUST BE CONSTANTLY IN AWE OF HOW TINY THE BABY IS. AND HOW BREAKABLE. AND THE BABY WOULD DO THAT THING WHERE IT GRABS HIS FINGER AND HIS HEART WILL BREAK FROM HOW IT'S FILLED WITH TOO MUCH LOVE. AND HE'S NEVER LOVED ANYTHING THAT MUCH IN HIS WHOLE LIFE. AND EVERYTHING LOOKS NEW BECAUSE THE BABY WILL GET TO SEE IT FOR THE FIRST TIME. AND MAYBE HE WILL FIX UP HIS TRAGIC HOUSE BECAUSE THE BABY COULD DIE LIKE SEVENTY-FIVE DIFFERENT WAYS JUST FROM LIVING IN IT. EVEN IF IT IS A BABY WEREWOLF. IS IT A BABY WEREWOLF? I NEED TO KNOW.

HE CAN JUST LAUGH FONDLY BECAUSE LIFE. IS. GETTING. BETTER.

UNFAAAAAAAAAAIR. YOU ARE KILLING ME.

Date: 2012-11-07 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
I LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING TO ADD, I JUST LIVE HERE IN THIS COMMENT THREAD NOW. WHERE DEREK'S BABY HAS CAPTURED DEREK'S FINGER. I AM QUITTING MY JOB TO PROFESSIONALLY STARE AT THIS THREAD NOW.

Date: 2012-11-07 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shiningartifact.livejournal.com
LOL ILU.

SERIOUSLY THE SECOND I SAW B'S DRAWING MY BRAIN BROKE IN HALF FROM HOW PERFECT IT WAS AND HOW MUCH I NEED THIS STORY IN MY LIFE. ;____; I NEED IT LIKE BREATHING.

Date: 2012-11-07 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shiningartifact.livejournal.com
ALSO DOES STARING AT THIS THREAD OFFER MEDICAL AND DENTAL? IF SO, I'M APPLYING FOR A POSITION. JUST FYI.

Date: 2012-11-06 06:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ambiguousreason.livejournal.com
I LUV BABY FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know that but like, I'm FULLY OBSESSED. IT IS SO GREAT (as long as they like, find the baby someplace and it ain't no men birthing that baby). I would totally, fully, 100% read a fic about Derek finding a baby and being a wonderful caretaker.

Date: 2012-11-07 11:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
MOLLY I DIDN'T ACTUALLY KNOW YOU LOVED BABYFIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS UNEXPLORED TERRITORY! I THOUGHT THAT HARRY MPREG WAS YOUR FIRST BABYFIC ALTOGETHER!!!!!! CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS 4 LIFE?

Date: 2012-11-08 08:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ambiguousreason.livejournal.com
YES OMG ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES MY ~~~~OTP FINDING LOVE BECAUSE OF A BABY IS SUPERB. OR EVEN JUST GEN FIC THAT INVOLVES BABIES, I DON'T REALLY CARE. I know this post is about a Teen Wolf baby fic but I am especially into babyfic in 1D fandom because I'm obsessed with dad Louis for lyfe.

Date: 2012-11-06 09:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erilyn.livejournal.com
OMFG I AM DRUNK AND CANNOT HANDLE THE THOUGHT OF DEREK + BABY, FUCK YOU!!!

HE WOULD BE MOST PROTECTIVE PARENT EVER, AND WOULD BE WAY MORE AWESOME THAN ANYONE WOULD GIVE HIM CREDIT TO BE, FUCK I NEED THIS LIKE BRNING.

Date: 2012-11-06 09:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erilyn.livejournal.com
I BET DEREK LIKE WORKED AT A DAYCARE PLACE DURING THE YEARS HE WASN'T IN BEACON HILLS, AND WAS MOST POPULAR PERSON THERE, CAUSE HE DIDN'T CARE AOUT ADULTS, BUT TOOK ECCELLENT FUCKING CARE OF THOSE BABIES.

Date: 2012-11-07 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
LYN I GOT DISTRACTED BY POLITICS BUT I CRIED AT THIS COMMENT WHEN I SAW IT. DEREK HALE'S DAYCARE WAS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE AND HARD TO GET INTO BUT ALL OF THE KIDS CAME OUT INSANELY WELL CARED FOR IF A BIT QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date: 2012-11-08 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erilyn.livejournal.com
[I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU WERE DISTRACTED BY POLITICS (I MYSELF DO NOT HAVE CARPAL TUNNEL FROM REFRESHING FIVETHIRTYEIGHT).]

BUT IT JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE? HE WAS SO GOOD WITH THE BABIES AND LITTLE KIDS, BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT HE IS EPICALLY FAILY WITH TEENS, RIGHT? TURNS OUT THAT ONE IS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE OTHER.

BUT WHILE DEREK WAS ALSO GOOD WITH THE TODDLERS AND OLDER KIDS (DEREK FINGERPAINTING! READING OUT LOUD TO THEM!), BUT IT WAS THE BABIES THAT WERE HIS FAVOURITES. SOMEHOW, HE ALWAYS KNEW WHEN THEY WERE GETTING FRETFUL BEFORE THE OTHER STAFF DID, AND BEAT THEM TO GET THERE (PEOPLE JOKED HE HAD SUPER HEARING, HAHA).

AND THEN THERE WAS THE TIME A NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT TRIED TO GRAB THEIR KID FROM DAYCARE. BIG MISTAKE. HUGE.

BUT YES, WHILE I STILL LOVE CARETAKER!STILES STORIES, I NEED A STORY WHERE THAT GETS INVERTED, AND DEREK IS SURPRISINGLY AWESOME WITH THE BABY, AND STILES GETS REAL QUIET. AND LYDIA LATER CALLS HIM OUT ON IT, ALL LIKE "I KNOW I WAS SKEPTICAL, BUT I THINK DEREK REALLY CAN TAKE CARE OF THE BABY" AND STILES IS ALL "I KNOW, AND NOW I WANT TO HAVE BABIES WITH HIM. I THINK I'M CLUCKY. CAN TEENAGE GUYS HAVE BIOLOGICAL CLOCKS? BECAUSE I CAN HEAR SOMETHING TICKING, BUT MAYBE IT'S A BOMB? I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE'S SO HOT WHEN JUGGLING BOTTLES AND NAPPIES AND BEING SHIRTLESS WITH A BABY IN A FREAKING SLING ON HIS NAKED CHEST AND OH MY GOD STOP LAUGHING LYDIA".

Date: 2012-11-06 09:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] happy-coconut.livejournal.com
I WANT THIS NOW, TOO. DAMN IT, LEA!

Date: 2012-11-07 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
COOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Date: 2012-11-07 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] and-the-damned.livejournal.com
I love your mind! this is a fic that must be written. Also, I would read anything you wrote and love it. You could write about Stiles spraying athletes foot medicine on his feet and I would swoon. Or! you could totally write this beautiful bunny with the baby and daddy Derek whatnot

Date: 2012-11-07 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drunktuesdays.livejournal.com
Hahahah what a sweet compliment!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm crying at the image of a shippy, loving description of Stiles's athlete's foot.

<3333333

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